Dear Babel – By Dad

Kotera Family Photo

Dear Babel, I started writing this on the 8th of June 2015, you were 6 weeks and 2 days old. You started to say something back to us with sounds. That’s very cute. The day before, I experienced that for the first time. I was so happy and jumped in the nursery room, and the whole floor shook. Mommy and Oma Moem were laughing so hard. It was the first time we responded to each other, I couldn’t contain myself.

Babel and Daddy

Anyway, now I’m going to talk about the day you were born, 25th April 2015, and the days before that, 4:48pm will be the time we will never forget. Mommy had been feeling contractions since Wednesday that week. I told my work that the contractions started, and labor would be any time soon. Up until this time, I got asked ‘Has he arrived yet?’ so many times already, by every person I met at work.

Wednesday night Oma Moem came to Buxton, we had a nice takeaway. Wednesday midnight, Mommy was saying to me that I might have to call work, to let them know I would be working from home. She woke up several times that night/morning, and around 5am her pain was strong. We decided that I needed to take the day off.

In the Park with Daddy

On Thursday, Mommy fought with the pain all day long, but it wasn’t time yet. On Friday, her pain was worse, a midwife came to our house in the morning. The pain got intensified, so the midwife came back in the late afternoon as well. Around 9pm, it got even worse. She was crawling on the floor, couldn’t move. I called Triage and an ambulance. That was my first time to call an ambulance in my life. Oh boy, the person on the phone at the ambulance services couldn’t have a normal conversation, except their template questions. That drove all of us mad! We all screamed at her.

We waited for 15 minutes or so, and an NHS guy named Glenn came to support us until an ambulance arrived. He was a very nice guy. Mommy got gas and air to numb the pain, and this also made her high. She started introducing herself to Glenn so loudly that the entire apartment complex could learn who she was. We waited at the first floor landing, and finally, after about a 45-minute wait, an ambulance arrived. She lay on the ambulance bed and was carried inside the ambulance. I followed her to the ambulance. Yasmin and Oma Moem followed the ambulance in Yasmin’s car.

Showering with Daddy

It was 11pm Friday night. The road was empty. The ambulance didn’t have to use the siren. A fast drive, we arrived at Stepping Hill Hospital smoothly. We were taken to a maternity suite. We met a couple of midwives there, also an anesthetist. Mommy told the anesthetist that she wouldn’t need him, but he needed to know Mommy’s physical restrictions and such, just in case, so in the end she told him. Soon after, Oma Moem arrived. There were only two extra people allowed inside, so Yasmin stayed outside. She was waiting in the waiting room.

Mommy’s pain was really bad already. She constantly needed gas and air. Because the device looked like the beak of a duck, she said “Duck, duck duck duck duck!!!!” to us to get it to her mouth. Oma Moem and I, either of us, was always near the gas and air to give it to Mommy quickly. It was very tough for us to see Mommy in pain. I was already ready to say yes to her if Mommy asked for an epidural. Mommy started to say “I can’t do this any more” around 1am. Oma Moem and I kept encouraging her. Mommy was thinking that if she takes any medication, she is not a good mother.

Trying the Rocking Chair with Daddy

Around 2am, her pain was unbearable, she decided to get an epidural. The anesthetist came in with some tools. Mommy needed to fill out the consent form. This kind of form is there to think about the worst case scenario, such as there is a very minor possibility that your legs will get paralyzed. It was scary. He and his assistant put a transparent sheet on Mommy’s back, and they injected the epidural. After a short while, Mommy started to feel better. She was able to have a regular conversation again, even though she was sleep deprived, and exhausted. Things got better after that. I had a short nap on a chair, so did Oma Moem.

Daddy & Babel

What scared me a lot was when Dr. Fumi (unsure of spelling) came in on Saturday morning and found out that your breathing record was unstable. He said “Quickly please!” to his assistants, and they were working very hastily. I was very worried. After 10 minutes or so, they found the breathing meter was not attached well, that’s why the record was unstable. What a big relief. Around noon, Dr. Fumi and another doctor checked the dilation. It was about 8 cm; 2cm short. They came back again, but the dilation was not much different. We started to talk about C-section. I started to send messages to my parents and Yasmin that we might have to do a C-section. The doctors were talking about the availability of the operating theater. Fortunately, there was another patient who became an emergency and had to go first, so we had to wait a couple of hours. While waiting, we tried to push as much as we could. Mommy pushed, and I encouraged her by saying “Go go go,,,” or “Push push push,,,”. Because of one hour of this pushing, the dilation became 9.5 cm.

Daddy feeding Babel Mommy's Milk

Around 4pm, the doctors decided to take us to the theater to do a C-section. I put on a green gown and a blue hat. It was cool to be inside the theater. Only one person was allowed to be there, so Oma Moem went to the waiting room, and waited with Yasmin. There were more than 10 people in the theater. The doctors gave Mommy an episiotomy and gave us 3 chances to do vaginal birth with the help of forceps. We were very determined to put everything on this last chance.

The first attempt,,, nothing came out.

Second attempt,,, nothing again!

And the third attempt,,, Mommy said to me “Something is coming out, Yasu.”

I didn’t want to forget this moment, and wanted to remember precisely forever, so I was filming this with my iPhone. I was stroking her face, and hoping I would see something in the doctor’s hands. Behind the surgery sheet, which covered Mommy’s legs, a grey baby covered with blood and liquid showed up! It was you! I saw you for the first time! I was screaming with joy. Even with blood and liquid, you were shining beautifully. What was different from my expectation was you were not crying, nor breathing. So the medical staff took you to a special bed with a breathing aid machine. I was worried.

Singing with Daddy

After a couple of minutes, they invited me to come to the bed. I touched you, and heard your weak cry. They sent me back to my seat. Mommy couldn’t see you there, but she could see my face. Not to panic her, I kept my face straight. I was worried still. After 5 minutes or so, they brought you to Mommy. The first time she saw you close, Mommy started to cry, and gave you some kisses. The time you were born was 4:48pm. We had worked so hard for many hours. I’m sure Mommy did the heaviest lifting, but we were all exhausted yet at the same time extremely happy. It was a start of a new phase of our life.

Then you were taken to the incubation room as Mommy had a fever when you were born. I was taken to a room next to the theater to wait for Mommy. While waiting, a nurse suggested me to talk to Oma Moem and Yasmin. I ran to the waiting room. We group-hugged, and Oma Moem and Yasmin started to cry. I went back to where Mommy was, and we started to make calls to Japan, the Netherlands, and Japan again, as Djamo was in Osaka at the time. It was around 5pm here so was 1am in Japan. My parents and Djamo stayed awake until 3 or 4 am on that day to celebrate your birth.

Playing with Daddy

Around 7pm, we were allowed to go to the incubation room. We were instructed to wash our hands thoroughly. You were put in an incubator, receiving an intravenous drip, and being monitored. We could see a bit of dried blood and liquid on your body and hair. You were sleeping soundly. Mommy and I were only allowed to take one more person with us. So Mommy and Oma Moem went there together, and Yasmin and I.

That is how day 1 of your life went. It is fascinating to see that moment of your life. A life is long, but many old people say it’s short. I’m very excited to see how your life will go. Mommy and I put so much love, time, energy, and effort into having you. Finally, you are born and healthy. How fortunate we are to have you. Everything went perfectly, that’s why you are there. You are the result of our perfect luck. It’s a miracle. You are a miracle.

Daddy Cuddles


6 thoughts on “Dear Babel – By Dad

  1. The last picture is the sweetest picture i ever saw of Daddy Yasu and Babel. Well said, Yasu. I will you guys allways be thankfull for all the time and space you gave me to be there and the days after the birth with your precious little son, my grandson…i’m the proudest grandma in the world!!! Love you!! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Lia aka Oma Moem! The last picture, it feels great to do that with Babel. Your help is enormous. Thank you for helping us, and we, including Babel, are looking forward to your next visit!!

      Liked by 2 people

    • We love you too! We’re glad you were here for the birth and that you got to take part in the making of memories regarding Babel’s first days of life. Thanks for all the help and we’re looking forward to your next visit!


      • Hm, i don’t think i was that big of a help though… but i was there to support you and Yasu. And i loved it. And i love every facetime moment we have nearly every day! Precious moments…💞

        Liked by 1 person

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